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(the words of goodbye)

[31 Dec 2006|02:40am]
Sometimes I wonder if you even exist.

(6 tears that fall are the words of goodbye)

Apologies [31 Oct 2005|09:39pm]
I promised I would post; it slipped my mind. Apologies for the long wait.

I ran off to Slovakia for a week, realised I'm in love with a boy, and decided to learn guitar.

Inspiration will surely follow.

(the words of goodbye)

[05 Aug 2005|01:18am]
Character Driven: Let's call it a challenge.

(4 tears that fall are the words of goodbye)

Theme: Chasing The Sun [21 Jul 2005|04:08am]
[ music | Manic Street Preachers - The Year of Purification ]

That city was nothing but grey. They say we’re running away from reality.

“Your problems will follow you.”

I never knew there could be so many miles of nothing.

You’re dreaming - staring out the window, a book forgotten in your hand. I know that look, that miniscule twitch of hope.

The music fades and I flip the tape. It’s your job, but you don’t notice the silence. This wasteland only requires one hand on the wheel; the other finds your knee.

“It’s wrong.”

Horizons stretch onward, futuristic and neverending, past faded in the rearview mirror.

We’re chasing the sun.

(2 tears that fall are the words of goodbye)

[05 Jun 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes ]

Funny to think we’d end up this way.
You’re the same as always,
Beautiful and insecure
As I made you.
I never did apologize,
I was immature
And we were both so scared
Of what the other would think.
I used to have the long hair
And you’d talk of growing
Yours (in hindsight, a metaphor
For what we’ve become.)
My hair is stiff and gelled
While yours is soft and honest;
I can’t recall when we shifted.
You were the one
Listening to heavy metal
And always wearing black.
Why is it your letter jacket
That stands out here, and me
Smelling of alcohol?
This wasn’t how it was
Supposed to happen.
I was going to save you
From yourself, not wait for you
To realize
How much I want those years back.

(2 tears that fall are the words of goodbye)

[26 May 2005|05:29pm]
Give me a goal.

(the words of goodbye)

[16 May 2005|09:14pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Manu Chao - Me Gustas Tú ]

You know your priorities are in the wrong place when you’ll read for hours, everything but what you need to.

When you try too hard to look like your ideal partner, you’ll end up with no one but a narcissist.

More worried about what you should be doing at the moment than what you are, and how much you can get away with rather than how much you want to do, you realize that your life has been consumed by another’s expectations.

You hate everything you create until someone beautiful compliments it, when you’re trapped in indecision.

I hate that.

(the words of goodbye)

Saccharine One Hundred [11 May 2005|04:11pm]
Saccharine lyrics are overwhelming when wrong. That’s not how I feel as I fall in lust with the back you’ve turned. There’s something about your insecurity slipping out of too large jeans that plays with your perfectly styled perception. The shock of metal above your eye must be months old now. (Does it cast away the shadows?) Dark outlines on your arm are ones I can’t recall having seen before. When did you become untouchable? I melted into what I thought you wanted, but you’re playing with the hair that was mine – now laying on the kitchen floor.

(the words of goodbye)

Those That Have Not Exploded (Thich Nhat Hanh) [09 May 2005|07:36pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Ginkins - You're Not Cool ]

side by side.

We’ll hold hands and stare straight into the apricot sky, tasting cotton candy clouds with our tongues while remembering the potential. I think of that time I tasted blood; we were dancing in a crowd and angry at the world. Up and down, up and down – none of us realized we could be doing so much more, but here we are, here we will be. None of us are cool; we could be, we will be, and one day we’ll stand under the sun, and recollect our futures and everything that we changed, standing side by side.

A/N: The challenge was to write a 100 word piece inspired by the last line of a favorite poem. I chose "Those That Have Not Exploded" by Thich Nhat Hanh.

(3 tears that fall are the words of goodbye)

The Fight [05 May 2005|03:38pm]
“Okay, I get it. You don’t want me around.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You didn’t need to.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Being like what? Like I care about you? Like I wish you cared about me?”
“Don’t say that.”
“I can’t fucking pretend that we’re nothing.”
“We are nothing.”
“No we’re fucking not!”
“Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t you ever fucking tell me to Calm. Down.”
-Pause.
“Who is she?”
“What?”
“Just tell me. Who the fuck is she?”
“There is no she.”
“Bullshit there’s not. Why else would you want me to go?”
“You know I don’t want this out.”
“You didn’t seem to care, before. I thought you were just getting used to it. To us. I thought –“
“You thought wrong.”
“Yeah, maybe. Maybe I did.”
“Look, can we just forget this?”
“Forget what? … Do you still want me to go?”
“Yes. No. I- Fuck, I don’t know.”
“You never know. You never fucking know.”
“What the fuck do you want from me?”
“You know.”
“No, actually I don’t.”
“Well, I’ve told you.”
“Then tell me again.”
“Listen to yourself. What do you want? Just stop fucking around and tell me what you –want-.”
“I want…”
“You don’t know, do you?”
“Oh fuck off.”
“Is that what you want me to do?”
“No. I… Why are you making this so difficult?”
“Sure, blame it on me again. Blame your fucking indecision on me. That’s all you can do, isn’t it? Point fingers?”
“I’m not the one pointing now.”
“I’m going now.”
“Wait, no. Fuck, I didn’t mean it.”
“I don’t care.”
“You just said –“
“Fuck what I just said. Call me when you figure it out.”
“Wait, don’t. Don’t go!”
“Goodbye.”
-Door Slams.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
-Black out.

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